I’ve always felt my soul tribe is from the future, now that it’s finally 2020 it seems the times are catching up with us! Since we’re starting a new decade, I’ve been reviewing all my major life adventures and lessons from the last 10 years. (Many of which happen to be in the area of sex and relationship!) To stay current with you, and other friends and lovers from around the world, I am going to narrow it down to 10 honorable mentions from 2019. The big theme of last year seemed to be getting into “right relationship” with all my connections: How do we need to show up in order to bring out the best in each other?
Within a month of Merriam Webster’s announcement that “They/Them” is the 2019 word of the year, I came out on Facebook as “gender transcendent” and proposed a change of personal pronouns. Of course, you can call me whatever you want. She/her is not technically wrong and pronouns are mostly used to talk about someone in their absence, I will not be correcting you if you forget or prefer not to honor my preference. AND for those of you cunning linguists who regard plural pronouns as grammatically incorrect when used for singular indefinite subjects, I assure you, I am the embodiment of multiple streams of spirit —and we do not consider ourselves singular! So there’s that.
Also, I’ve been introducing myself more as KD since it is a gender non-binary name (and much easier to pronounce than my preferred full name: KamalaDevi.) Although I present physically female, I am a hermaphroditic soul. I’m taking this year to fully embrace my inner masculine (both healed and wounded) just as deeply as I embody my feminine. I also want to marry my animal and spirit, and a multitude of other parts, because in my experience, the best way to serve the world is from an integrated sense of center. In short, my intention for 2020 is: Inner peace through inner marriage.
2. 🌊🌴 POLY IN PARADISE.
We kicked off last year with ISTA Hawaii followed by a luxurious week of hanging out in a beach house estate with our poly family. My nearly 4-year triad with Sharmila Graefer and James Schmachtenberger continues to deepen through travel, monthly overnights, family time with Devin and we’ve all adjusted to each having new lovers this year. The fun art piece I used for the header was made by Sharmila after a magical sunset in Kona (She is also designing the trident tattoo I plan to get this winter!)
3. 👰❤️🤵 WE RENEWED OUR VOWS!
My partnership with Michael McClure continues to evolve beyond the personality to the level of the oversoul. We are so secure and free in our love that we released the title of “primary” and re-dedicated ourselves to a power that is beyond us: Love itself. We are celebrating an unbelievable state of harmony and our new vow is to serve peace on earth through inner peace. We’ve been sharing our journey with an intimate circle in a 12-month mastermind called the Relationship Deep Dive.
4. 📖💔 LOVE LETTER TO ROXY
After almost 8 years of deep partnership, Roxanne DePalma and I gradually outgrew our erotic container and have remained beloveds, soul family and co-conspirators. We even have a kinky, queer poly love story to show for our epic adventures. “52 Fridays” is going to be published by Cleis press around Pride and we are excited to throw a Book release party for the community.
5. 💀🌋 DEATH & DYING.
Immediately after our relationship transition, I journeyed to the ridge of a supervolcano at Lake Atitlán in Guatemala and offered my heart to the heart of humanity. At ISTA’s Level 2 we perform a shamanic death ritual that involves stripping off everything we hold precious order to bring ourselves to life as an offering. I had the opportunity to co-facilitate this initiation four times, including Israel, Berlin, and Saratoga Springs. Afterward, I was leading a special ISTA for the Network for New Culture Community in Eugene Oregon when My 100-year old grandmother crossed over to the other side, allowing a part of my soul to travel with her. I’m grateful to Stacy Lynn & Raffaello Manacorda for hosting and holding me during this tender time.
🎈 DEVIN’S LAST YEAR AS A PRE-TEEN 🎉
Devin (age 12) started a new school called SOUL charter. After 4 years of martial arts, he decided he prefers tennis and has resumed sailing. He still plays keyboard and D&D. His big pilgrimage this year was walking the Camino de Santiago with Michael and the Paulman boys. And he was amongst the 15 kids who graduated from ISTA’s first Family Fusion experiment in West Virginia.
6. 🥁💫 MICHAEL’S SPIRAL PATH
After traveling in Europe together, Michael and Taina have been passionately connecting for the better part of the year. She has had a wonderful influence on his energetic body and emotional sensitivity. Taina and I have a developing sisterhood and she gets along with my mother and even took Michael to Mexico City to meet her family. This year, Michael also Journeyed to New Zealand to do ISTA’s Level 3 (after assisting L2 in Berlin) and Teotihuacan to do Linda Star Wolf’s shamanic Breathwork Facilitation training. He plans to offer regular breathwork sessions to the local community on Monday nights. Michael and I are also co-creating a weeklong curriculum for the Relationship Deep Dive to help lovers support each other beyond the personality, at the level of the soul.
7. 🌎 JOURNEYING WITH BRUCE LYON
After leading ISTA in Israel, I extended my stay with Makatu and Yehoo to experience my first Huachuma ceremony (San Pedro Cactus) led by Ohad Pele and Dawn Cherie.
Amongst approximately 50 other free spirits, is where I first met The Sex Witch, Winter Jade Icely (Bruce’s beloved.) Afterward, Bruce
and I went for a walk in the
Avocado grove and visioned a road trip through Mt. Shasta to the Beloved Art and Music Festival where we camped before co-facilitating L2 at Saratoga Springs. Our spontaneous evolutionary explorations upgraded my understanding of self, not just as an individual soul, but as an expression of the world soul. I later reconnected with Winter and my family on the Alaskan Cruise to make more outrageous memories.
8. 🔥❤️ NEW LOVE & LOSS
On the summer solstice, in the mountains of Montreal, I met a beautiful man and we discovered we shared an otherworldly bond. Over the last 6 months, we developed a mystical long-distance romance. During our ‘lovers retreat’ in Clear Lake, my soul expanded by his reflection, but during his 2 weeks in San Diego, however, we found the activation of each other’s wounding unbearable. We’ve since released all cords and contacts so he can focus on building a foundation with his primary girlfriend. Though the heartache is fierce, I am grateful for all the medicine we exchanged and humbly offer it all up to the mystery of Wild Love.
9. 💕 RADICAL SELF CARE 💕
Between corresponding with publishers, coaching and leading ISTA retreats (at a pace of one training every three weeks,) I’ve had to be deliberate about my daily practice, ordering pre-prepared GF, vegan meals, quality supplements, and superfood smoothies. I was hit hard with Peri-menopause: 3 hot flashes and 3 urinary tract infections. I’m also keeping up with regular chiropractic, trauma release therapy and enlightenment dyads with Greg Clowminzer
10. 📚WRITING BOOKS WITH DEADLINES 💀
I had no idea it would take this Loooooong to publish 2 new books. Even though I enjoy the people at the two separate publishing houses I’m working with, they somehow seem to give me the same short time frames to turn in my corrections. I would not be able to pull it off without the invaluable help from my Office Manager, Kali Das, and my beloved writing partners, Cheri Reeder & Daniel.