The most common question I get is: Do you get jealous and how do you deal with it?
The answer is YES, I am human, after all! And since I’ve recently upgraded my understanding of the green-eyed beast, I made this brief video (12min) with my new and improved perspective!
Jealousy can be a confusing storm of emotions. Our core believes and stories can trigger a painful concoction of brain chemistry which can result in feelings of hurt, anger, insecurity, betrayal, irritation, hopelessness, paranoia, depression, frustration, loneliness, envy, blame, humiliation, and powerlessness…
The trick is to identify the exact mix of feelings that make up your unique experience jealousy and then go deeper by understanding your underlying needs. What are the primary needs that are driving your jealousy? These are often issues that started in childhood such as the need for attention, inclusion, consideration reassurance, control, safety, clarity, priority and of course the need to be special…?
Emotional maturity and the ability to anticipate each other’s needs are important qualities for the success of every conscious relationship. When jealousy arises, I recommend you not blame or shame anyone as the cause of your emotions and take time to get in touch with your feelings and needs before discussing your relationship agreements and strategies.
I hope you enjoy the video and let me know what you think! For more in-depth teachings on jealousy and my best teachings on Polyamory, check out my online course.
I look forward to a big warm hug at one of my upcoming retreats!