Polyamory and pole dancing are two things that my girlfriend Roxanne is passionate about. During a regular Friday lovemaking date, I asked her “What are the similarities between Polyamory and Pole Dancing?” For us, lovemaking takes many forms (naked sunbathing, massage, Japanese rope bondage, threesomes, fantasy role play, processing,) but this is the first time that our creative chemistry produced a blog post. Hope you have as much fun reading this list as we had making it. ;)
10 Ways Pole Dancing Is Like Polyamory
10. Polyamory and pole dancing are both socially adventurous, radical and provoke a lot of judgement. It makes for a good conversation at parties, but people assume you’re a slut.
9. In pole dancing there are rules and best practices to make it safer, just as there are boundaries and agreements that can make maintaining multiple relationships easier.
8. When you’re first learning, it’s best to go slow and get a teacher. You can learn a lot from the experience of others so you don’t have to make your own mistakes. To get stronger you must develop the muscles. Do your pull-ups and leg-strengthening exercises; i.e., go to poly workshops.
7. To get better at pole dancing you have to take risks. The more radical you are on the pole the more chances you have of getting hurt. Similarly, to grow as a poly lover, you have to be willing to stretch yourself.
6. You can have lots of fun just dancing around the pole, you don’t have to practice all kinds of crazy tricks. Just because you’re poly doesn’t mean you have to go crazy and have a ton of relationships.
5. Tricks that are hard in the beginning, get easier over time; eventually you condition yourself so you don’t fall and get bruised.
4. No one pole can meet all your needs. Some are fixed. Some poles spin. And they are different widths. Thinner are easier to grip with hands and the thicker poles are easier with your legs…see where we’re going with this?
3. When you are greasy you slip out of right relationship with the pole. If you are slippery with your agreements you are going to fall and someone is going to get hurt.
2. You need a strong foundation of security and trust. You have to trust the pole is going to hold you up. If you grip too hard you can’t dance around it; if you’re attached or holding too tight you can’t explore the wild expansive movements. There are certain spins that you have to swing away from the pole. If the pole falls, you’re fucked.
1. Most importantly, don’t compare yourself to others.
Please comment below and let us know what you thought about this article and/or can think of other similarities that we missed. We look forward to hearing from you.
Roxanne DePalma is a Yoga Teacher and Pole Dance and Fitness Instructor at The Dollhouse Fitness in Encinitas, California. She will be performing an originally choreographed solo piece on Saturday March 15th, 2014.
To read more fun blog posts inspired by Roxanne go to: