It’s no secret that I have an abundance of vital sexual energy and I enjoy my naturally high sex drive.
I’m grateful that I’ve attracted a lot of polyamorous and tantric lovers who enjoy similarly healthy libidos. Here are some secrets to how we do it, and a personal list of my top 10 favorite aphrodisiacs that I will be offering at Poly Palooza!
People often ask if we use Viagra, Levitra or Cialis on group dates or at poly play parties. The answer is that I prefer natural and sustainable solutions to maintain high sex drive with minimal side effects.
I appreciate that pharmaceutical sex enhancers have been life changing for millions of men (and women,) but I believe such treatments are best used as a last resort, in consultation with a doctor, while working on more holistic psycho-spiritual sources of sexiness such as decreasing stress and increasing communication with your partner(s).
I admit, through the years I’ve experimented with a variety of exotic sex enhancers like Spanish Fly, Chinese mushrooms, and spiced oysters. These recreational escapades have yielded mixed results (with great stories I’ll save for another time.)
Today, I practice pure eco-sustainable sex enhancers which you can find at your local supermarket. Following is my top ten 10 list of natural and common aphrodisiacs. I personally have had first hand direct success with in raising my libido by using them in and on my body (and I’m happy to share some short sexy stories to go with each of them.) Perhaps some of these foods you have in your refrigerator right now, My hope is that the next time you consume them, it’s with a sexier intention!
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #10 The Banana.
Obviously the big juicy phallic shape of the banana screams pleasure! Just watching my girlfriend Roxanne eat a banana is better than most soft porn. I believe Mother nature made certain long hard fruit (like carrots, zucchini and cucumbers) to remind us that we don’t have to eat them in order to feel their benefits deep inside our bodies.
But did you know Bananas trigger testosterone production? They are rich in potassium and B vitamins, which elevate energy levels and Doctors found that they contain bromelain enzyme, that increases libido and reverse impotence in men.
I love sharing fresh organic Bananas with my girlfriends. They always seem to taste better when someone is watching. They can also be frozen and put in smoothies or dipped in chocolate. In Central America, the sap of the red banana tree is sipped as an aphrodisiac elixir. Best thing about bananas is they are naturally poly because you can buy them by the bunch!
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #9 Pomegranates.
This exotic red fruit has long time been a symbol of sensuality and fertility, but did you know, the juice is scientifically proven to lift testosterone levels up to 30% – which increases sex drive for both men and women. Researchers have found that drinking pomegranate juice improves blood flow and it is rumored to increase genital sensitivity. One study by The Male Clinic in California found that pomegranate juice had a positive effect on erectile dysfunction.
Pomegranate seeds can be served in a variety of ways from sprinkling on salads to cocktails to desserts. Warning: Pomegranate juice will stain clothing. To avoid staining carpets or clothing, my lover Tahl and I found the best way to eat pomegranates is naked, every October, when they come in season, we steal them from the neighbors tree and like to feed each other in the bath. We have fun bursting the little seeds between our fingers and watching them spray all over our bodies. Be careful not to get them in your eyes as they are highly acidic and burn for at least 10 seconds.
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #8 Cinnamon.
My new lover Jason and I share a special morning routine that often involves coffee at a cafe on the corner. Just a few shakes of cinnamon will elevate my morning sipping experience into a sensual one. Recently I’ve been cutting down on caffein, but found great pleasure in adding cinnamon to a warm glass of almond milk, on my oats or on a muffin.
This spice has been shown to increase sex drive over time and though Cinnamon does not have an immediate affect, it can heat up your body over time which can heat up your sex drive. Some of the long term benefits include its ability to lower high blood sugar, which restricts blood flow to the genitals. It is proven that controlling your blood sugar can lead to better sex. It will aslo helps women reduce painful urinary tract infections.
If you rub a drop of essential cinnamon oil gently onto the genitals, you can create a powerful sexual stimulation. Careful not to use too much, I have one girlfriend who claimed it made her clit go numb, but I wasn’t exactly gentle with my rubbing and I’m convinced that had to do with the oil.
Naturally Sexy aphrodisiac #7 Organic Chocolate.
I confess, I am melting a piece of dark chocolate on my tongue as I type these words. What is sexier than savoring fine organic cocoa in your mouth? Chocolate is rich, thick, smooth, and yummy just like sex. But is it a real aphrodisiac or is it just the association of all the heart shaped boxes from valentines?
Recently there has been a big comercial push for dark chocolate as an antioxidant. The essential ingredient in most chocolate is cocoa, the seed of a tropical fruit tree. The higher quality of raw, organic cocoa, the greater the potential of both antioxident and aphrodisiac properties.
Chocolate contains phenylethylamine (PEA), which stimulates the same feel-good hormone your body releases during sex as well as during the first moments of falling in love. It also increases dopamine and serotonin production which are both “natural high” chemicals naturally occuring in our bodies when we are happy, passionate and in love.
Chocolate may also work like an aphrodisiac because of the placebo effect, but I never underestimate the power of placebo. I take notice which of my lovers are easily influenced by the power of chocolate and I take full advantage of it buy making sure to have some handy when someone needs convincing to get in the mood.
Many of my lovers are attracted to shamanic journeys that involve ingesting amounts of raw cacoa in combination with breathwork, though I am not called to do this medicine, I will recommend Tziporah’s work and one of my favorite non-conventional application of this aphrodisac is using it as a body butter for massage and oral sex. Rasa’s Raw Sensual Body Oil Dark Chocolate will be available at www.PolyPalooza.com or will be purchased at www.cacaoshamaness.com.
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #6 Avocado.
Raw Foodies have been known to call the avocado the “chocolate” of the Fruits.The inside of an avocado has a smooth creamy texture that reminds me of… and you can lick it off her fingers, rub it on eachother’s skin, and even use it as hair conditioner.
The Aztecs once called the avocado tree a “testicle tree” because the fruit hangs in pairs on the tree, like male testicles and the fruit has had a long time reputation as a traditional remedy for erectile dysfunction.
Science now shows that avocados are packed with nutrients essential to sexual health, including beta carotene, magnesium and vitamin E, (which is sometimes called the “sex vitamin“ and said to boost the state of arousal and intensity orgasm.) It also has the good fat needed for the body and heart. An avocado also delivers more potassium than a raw banana.
I eat avocados nearly every day, but my only direct experience with them as an aphrodesiac is that one time that I self pleasured under a tree, and I have to warn you, falling avocados can pack a pretty powerful punch!
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #5 Pine Nuts.
High in energizing zinc, which is linked to sex drive because it is essential for producing testosterone, pine nuts have been used to increase sexual stamina, fertility and sex drive, since the Middle Ages.
Sorry, I don’t have any sexy stories involving pine nuts–yet. I do like to put them in my pesto with basil and olive oil, which are also rumored to be good for high sexual performance. My son, however, likes to pick them out of his pasta.
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #4 Maca.
The first time I was introduced to this superfood was when my girlfriend Roxanne left a little love note on my doorstep with an raw Maca bar …and Bam!…I was in love.! The Maca was OK, but you should’ve seen this love note. (She even drew a picture of her boobs.)
Maca root It is a relative of turnips and radishes comes in red, black, cream, and purple varieties and is only found in Peru’s Andes mountains. It has been called Peru’s Viagra alternative and is believed to be a natural libido booster, to increase semen volume, raise sperm counts and enhance sperm motility in healthy men. Since I don’t have a penis, I can’t testify to how it affects me personally, but Psychology Today wrote a convincing article on the subject: Is Maca an Aphrodisiac?
My favorite way to partake is in smoothies, but it can also be ground and used as an herbal extract in drinks, and in candy.
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #3 Cornstarch
Like the banana, this natural aphrodisiac can bring pleasure without having to eat it :) Cornstarch is an awesome substitute for massage lubricants like coconut oil. I learned about this when studying reflexology. It’s messy, but totally worth it!
The first time I tried it, a sexy bisexual body worker come to my home and put a sheet down under the massage table, then asked me to disrobe, completely. (Since it’s so messy, this massage does not involve draping, in fact in order to avoid getting it all over your clothes it’s best to perform this massage naked yourself!) So this woman started slowly started sprinkling cornstarch on my skin and it felt just like…liquid silk. At first it’s cool, tingly and decidedly sensual. As she continued, I had powerful memories of being a baby and being swaddled in baby powder! The whole experience was so deep and nurturing.
I hope you try it yourself to see what I mean. Start by dropping just a few spoons on your lovers naked skin and once you have made little piles of cornstarch on their erogenous zones you can continue to pleasure them with a pastry brush by gently spreading it over their entire body. Then use your hands slip and slide all over. Play with the pressure between your fingertips. Try feather light strokes and other pressures to your lover’s taste…it can be sooo sensual! Pay particular attention to the sensitive areas like back of the knee, and small of the belly. (Be careful in the inner thigh area, remember a traditional use of cornstarch is to make gravy or sauces.) Be sure to allow time at the end of the session to clean up and shower off! The ultimate outcome is to awaken your senses. Afterwards, your lover’s whole body will feel brand new!
We will be offering optional corn starch massages at Poly Palooza!
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #2 Honey.
I prefer to date vegans (people who do not eat animal products) but as long as it’s organic, local and raw, I make a powerful exception for Honey! Besides, my poly household goes through more honey than you would believe! There is something sooooo irresistible about this sticky golden substance that is made through pollination. We drink it with our tea, eat it on our toast and of course suck it off eachother’s nipples.
Honey as a form of sugar is easily metabolized and rich in B-vitamins, enzymes and amino acids it helps to pump the energizers through your system which provides the high energy you need to sustain in long tantric sessions. It also contains boron, which helps regulate estrogen and testosterone levels and provides a natural energy boost.
Even the Kama Sutra mentions honey spiced with nutmeg as an aphrodisiac which is said to heighten an orgasm. One of my little known erotic secrets is that I like to bring Bee Pollen to Sexual Play Parties as a lat night snack when the energy dips.
Naturally Sexy Aphrodisiac #1 Damiana.
Most men bring flowers, but on my very first date with my husband Michael, he brought Damiana Aphrodisaca! He had a local witch doctor mix up an herbal blend and we drank it together as an after dinner tea. (Scroll down for the full Recipe!)
Damiana (Turnera diffusa) is a native American flowering shrub from regions south of Texas. According to early Spanish missionaries, Damiana leaves were traditionally mixed with sugar for use as an aphrodisiac.
Damiana has also been used as a herbal cure for impotency, to improve mood swings and regulate menstrual problems! Damiana oil is said to contain resins, terpenes, and tannins which have been known to bind to testosterone and progesterone receptors. Scientific studies on test rats discovered strong evidence of increased sexual excitement, in both sexes!
Drink up, you Dirty Rat!
Here are 4 recipees of Damiana Drinks. At Poly Palooza we will have a Damiana Tea ceremony before the poly play party with non-alcoholic exact tea that bewitched me on my first date with Michael.
- As a tea: Mix together 1-2 teaspoons of Damiana, add boiling water and let steep for 10 minutes. Strain, like a loose leaf tea, and add some sugar, Agave syrup, sweetener or honey.
- As an alcoholic sexual impotence drink: Mix together 2 ounces of damiana leaves, an ounce of dong-quai root, an ounce of American ginseng root, two ounces of vitex berries, four vanilla beans, nutmeg grated, brandy, and a cup of honey. Add enough brandy to submerge the herbs up to three inches, seal with a tight lid, and leave for three weeks. Warm and liquefy the honey and add it to the mixture. Drink two teaspoons of daily.
- The original formulation of the Margarita specified a traditional Mexican liqueur made from Damiana extract.
- The so-called “Damiana Margarita” is said to be popular in Mexico’s Los Cabos region and Damiana Liqueur is available in the USA.
Imagine how sexy it will be to surround yourself with a room full of poly and tantric lovers to share a meal with ALL 10 of these natural aphrodisiacs!
We will be holding such a banquet at PolyPalooza, a 4-day polyamory festival at a clothing optional Resort in Desert Hot Springs! Join us on Oct. 10-14th for Parties, Hot pools, performances, meals and community bonding! For details go to: www.Poly Palooza.com
Just for fun in the kitchen and bedroom, here are some additional foods that will increase the sex drive: Truffle, Aniseed, Wasabi (Horseradish), Vanilla, Peppermint , figs, garlic, ginger, ginseng, licorice, papaya, nutmeg, chili pepper, basil, Cardamom, rosemary, strawberries.
My big and obvious disclaimer is that I’m not a doctor and most natural aphrodisiacs are not scientifically proven, I have seen the effects on my own personal libido, but since everybody is different, I encourage that you try for yourself to see what works and what doesn’t. Fortunately, most of these foods are good for the general health of the body, and one of the greatest keys to a healthy and fulfilling sex life is having a healthy body.
If you enjoyed my Top Ten 10 list of Natural Aphrodisacs, check out these other Top Ten Lists:
- Top 10 Safer Sex Standards for Polyamory, Swinging and Open Relationships & Group Sex
- Top 10 reasons to go to a 4 day festival for free lovers!
- Polyamory is Easy; Scheduling is a Bitch: Top 10 Time Management Tips for Open Relationships