“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on saturday night” — Woody Allen
Ready to question Bisexual myths and stereotypes? Here is a brief overview of how Kamala Devi and family did a guest appearance on bisexual psychology in a human sexuality college course at SDSU.
Jim Weinrich* is an adjunct Professor who offers live panels of people who represent a wide range of alternative sexual identities in his academic courses. Today Jim gathered 6 local Bisexual activists to do a live Q & A with his psychology students to show how much diversity there is even within the bisexual subculture. Today’s bisexual panel included:
- Michael McClure who is straight man but lives with three bisexuals.
- Michael’s newest bisexual lover who realized her bisexuality while studying to be a sex therapist.
- Kamala Devi who’s been a bisexual activist for over 20 years, and currently practicing with over a dozen polyamorous lovers.
- Mary Bontorin who teaches sexuality for the differently abled.
- Ami Amema who is active in San Diego’s Bisexual Forum and does not identify with a specific gender.
- Tony who has been happily married and monogmous for 20 years, but insists that just because he’s bisexual does not mean I love my wife any less.
Prof. Jim warmed the class up with a survey/ poll to get them thinking:
- Do you personally know someone who is a bisexual?
- Do you know someone who doesn’t chose to lable themselves based on gender?
- Do you know someone who is in a polyamorous relationship?
- How open are you to dating a person who is bisexual?
After a brief introduction from each of the panelists, here are a few of the highlights from the Q & A:
Q: Are all all bisexuals Highly educated like you?
A: Mary shared that her thesis found a high correlation and reliability between education and open attitudes towards homosexuality.
Q: I’ve slept with bisexual women, but how do I get them to all sleep together?
A: There is a huge difference between bisexuality, polyamory and group sex. Just because someone is into both women and men, does not mean they are into them at the same time. Michael does not recommend you pressure anyone into polyamory. If you are interested in group sex you should surround yourself with people who are also into that. He offers the following example: “If I went to a local bar and tried to pick up a woman by saying, I’m married, but It’s OK to sleep with me, I’d probably get slapped. Whereas if I go to poly events, or meet women on poly specific websites, I might get lucky.”
Q: How do people handle your coming out?
A: The acceptance of Bisexuality depends greatly on the cultural context. We discussed how bisexuality is more of a threat in the lesbian community than amongst gay men. And in some cities there is a lot of bi-phobia, but San Diego is generally more accepting. We also discussed aboriginal cultures that held Bisexuality as sign of spiritual evolution. And several panelists had the experience of acceptance from their friends and parents as long as they still subscribed to heterosexual privledges like marriage.
Q: Do you have children? And how do you handle talking to them about it.
A: Of the six panelists, only Kamala Devi and Michael have one son who just graduated kindergarden and we told him that bisexual means you “like” boys and girls. When he replied that he “likes” boys and girls, does that make him bisexual? We explained that he is too young to be “sexual”, so when he gets older he can decide whether he likes boys or girls or both.
Q: Are Kamala Devi and Michael’s girlfriend into each other, and if so, do they use toys?
A: Well, it’s been a lively discussion, sorry we don’t have time today to answer all your questions!
Jim wrapped up his segment on bisexuality with an educational joke about “Bisexual Erasure.” If you don’t already know, “Bisexual erasure” is a term to describe how bisexuals are often overlooked as a minority. According to Wikipedia:
“There is a tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, news media and other primary sources. In its most extreme form, bisexual erasure can include denying that bisexuality exists. It is often a manifestation of biphobia, although it does not necessarily involve overt antagonism.This happens because it’s hard to identify who is bisexual.
Q: How can you tell if a woman is bisexual?
A: You check under her arms to see if she shaves one armpit. LOL
If you liked this blog post, you’ll LOVE these blog posts on how we do Poly:
- Real Relationship Agreements, Rules and Contract by San Diego Polyamory Pod
- Top 10 Safe Sex Standards for Polyamory, Swinging and Open Relationships & Group Sex
- How to negotiate relationship agreements for polyamory in 5 easy steps!
*Jim Weinrich is an American sex researcher and psychobiologist. Much of his work examines the relationship of biology and sexual orientation. He won the Outstanding Contributions to Sexual Science Award at the 2011 Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS) Western Region annual meeting. He has also won the SSSS Hugo Beigel Award for the best paper published in The Journal of Sex Research (co-authored with Richard Pillard). Weinrich became editor of the Journal of Bisexuality in 2011. He has served on the editorial boards for The Journal of Sex Research and the Journal of Homosexuality.
**Special Thanks to Regina Reinhardt, Ph.D. the coordinator of the Bisexual Forum in San Diego who Hosts “Bisexuality Across Cultures” Events and introduced me to Jim Weinrich.